31 December 2007


You came marching in like the 3rd Reich. Strong willed, confident, mission driven -but insincere in your intentions. Like your predecessor 2006, you willfully wore fancy patent leather masked flocked with all sorts of shiny things that hid the the dim in your eyes. But I can’t shame you, 2007, for pretending to be what your not because it’s much easier to pretend then it is to really be. But what you miss out on by pretending, is being you. And that is a shame.

But thankfully, you brought with you a few sleepless nights of hard lessons and body crumbling laughs. Dream vacations and big decisions. A new job that leaves me refreshed and at peace at the end of each day. Bi Weekly Manicures and Pedicures, Anti-depressants, new friends, moves, new friendships and scary realizations about who I am. When we first met 2007, I was brimming with hope and optimism for love, marriage, travel, contentment, and taking care of myself. And I give you credit some of those things happened and left the loveliest little imprints on my soul. So 2007, I’ m leaving you a bit more empty than when I started. I’m less a dater, a home, a 401-k, and a plan.

But what I do have is you, and you, and you, and you all the way out there kind readers. And for now, and really for always, you’ll be just what I need. But it’s too bad we’re saying good-bye with such a bad taste in our mouths. Because despite the severe heartbreak (the kind of heart break that takes more than giggles, whiskey and firm hugs to get over) you’ve been pretty great, not quite the best year of my life, but not the worst either.

And so 2008, I’m just going to put this out there, because the last time I had intentions for a year, they all happened even though I had forgot I had intended them. So, maybe 2008, maybe there’ll be and engagement or a wedding or something and maybe, just maybe my name will be on the invitation. You know 2008, I am not afraid to be one of those girls who is looking for love.

I want more small table gatherings with real conversations like how to fall out of love gracefully, what to wear to a wedding alone, where to get the best eye creams, and the best place to shamelessly dance. I want to chat about fun dog parks, beauty, and where to find a fantastic vintage hand bag.

As always, I’ve got high hopes. I’m looking forward to more travel. I’ll be on the hunt for sexy languages and a melt worthy bottle of wine, bi-weekly manis and pedis. This year there will be babies. Beautiful, long awaited babies that will make this world a better place, tie families together and teach lessons in patients and fill hearts with an unbelievable amount of love. This year I’l be giving my time, my energy and tiny pieces of my soul to this city at least once a month, and if you allow, more. I’ll be out and about with my puppy, getting to know a bit more about the emerald in our city. There will be less coffee drinking and more tea sipping.

I’m at a bit of a loss with The Words. My current love, work, leaves me with a bit less creativity, a bit less emotional stress, and without the need to expunge all the lovely things in my life. Because, every day, I leave work feeling more fulfilled than when I left. But the one thing I know will always be here is you, lovely readers. And I like that we, on a fairly regular basis, get to sit down and chat. And, what I said last year about writing, holds true for this year (I wrote down almost every moment I had this year - Good, bad, laughable, tear worthy, and inappropriate. And in doing so, I realized that writing is my forum for clarity, truth, and insight. I am my very best self when I am translating my thoughts into words, and an even better self knowing there is someone out there reading them. I have learned that with out The Words, I am without the most fantastic part of myself.), and I plan to find a whole host of new words in 2008 to let you all know a bit more about me, this city, and the fantastic things to love about our world.

So, 2008, I’m hesitantly looking forward to some time with you. I’ll go ahead and let you lead a bit in the dance, but don’t think I’ve given up, because I haven’t. What I will do is be me - the unpredictable, emotionally driven, fast talking, good loving girl I’ve always been a bit ashamed to be. Because I know that girl is the girl people love to love. I hope you will too.

And, I hope that together, we can do our best with the battle:

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." ee Cummings

High-fives and tickles,

30 December 2007

Tomorrow is the last day of 2007. After this month, I'm really looking forward to 2008. As the years go by the more unpredictable they - I never, never-ever thought that the older I got, the less I would be able to foresee.

So unpredictable I've changed my entire outfit. I'll be in all black: trousers and a vintage top. And, per the usual, I've found a newer, better, pair of shoes.

Report Signature Shoes, $179.00, @ Nordstrom (Down Town Seattle, Pacific Place).

If your looking for me, I'll be the girl with the red ribbon tied around her pointer finger remembering not to forger.

27 December 2007

The WANG is done. And just as I expected. I love it. Come to the W and peer out our suite windows on NYE. We'll be brining the bubbly, the fashion and the fun. You should bring you, because, there's a chance we'll like one another. And...well...that's a gift enough!

I have fallen in love with this: Stirrings Cocktail Mixers. I am normally a purest (minus the time, while living in a post college sorority, I mixed cheap, cheap red wine and ROCKSTAR energy drink, bleh!). But the Stirrings Peach Bellini mixed with Korbel Brute is really quite lovely.

Stirrings Peach Bellini, $8.99, @ Cost Plus World Market (2103 Western Avenue Seattle, 206.443.1055)

25 December 2007

If there is one item in my life that remains sacred in this space, it's my family. You've all heard a bit about my momma and maybe a few tid-bits about my sisters. But overall, I keep this space free from complicated, unbreakable, lovely, heap of emotional beings my family is made up of. But for Christmas my dear Internet, my gift for you? Little drop-lets of why I'm a bit of who I am.

My excruciatingly gorgeous and very pregnant sister Erin, who is just learning to become both domestic and helpful is filling the water glasses for Christmas Dinner. She announces,"Everyone only gets THREE pieces of ice because Amanduuh took too many pieces for her Jack and Coke. THREE pieces, huh!"

While wondering why Erin didn't have to buy a gift for someone, my sister Shannon insists Erin divvy's up the money that should have been spent on the gift for the ex-dater. They bicker and I announce that it'd be nice if we could not fight about MY break-up. Shannon's Husband Jeff, shoves the camera in my face and kindly obliges to be my boyfriend. Here is the photo:

My dad (literally) almost went into cardiac arrest after opening a box of socks from Eddie Bauer stacked six high. It's the little things in our family.

My mother,for the first time ever, buying something off my list. A donation to the Humane Society in CoCo's name and a bathrobe. We've decided that either my requests have become more reasonable or mom has wised up to stick to the list.

My Family, a house hold of people lovers (not so much dogs and cats), graciously allowing CoCo (the youngest of all kids) to help unwrap all the gifts, cuddle on their laps and tolerate her human food flatulence. She was the best Christmas dog ever, truly.

As everyone was making their exit, I sat in the corner with a Cost-co sized bucket of macaroons, held up two fingers in a peace sign, and gave my salutations: "peace out Bitches". Not a one of them did a double take, but instead flashed a peace sign back and lovingly wished me a "Merry Christmas"

And right now, it's snowing. I've gone a head and saved a few of the prettiest snowflakes behind my ears and when we see each other next, I'll let you lean in close and let the little flake tell you all about her secret mission on Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas Friends, Merry Christmas.

23 December 2007

Even making my way to University Village couldn't lace me with the Baugh Humbug.

Go HERE to see where I'll be this evening. I'll the the girl wearing her Thrifty Cashmere with purple stained lips dancing like it's the last day of the year. And , before that, I'll be at Black Bottle gushing over gift giving with my BFF. We'll be in the back corner laughing and making plans for forever. Please come and say "hi", but only if you're nice. We've only go room for nice in our world.

21 December 2007

A rare bird just few in from NYC. I am anxiously anticipation some dancing, squeezing, shooting, and some all together good times.

The reason Tara and I know one another is because we were dueling over a guy who didn't want anything to do with either of us. A guy, who is now married. A guy we both share a special friendship with. I love Tara because she taught me how to feel music and introduced me to the love of my life. Also, she's got great tits.

For the first time in 4 weeks, I am actually excited for Christmas.

20 December 2007

Dear Readers, please read:


If you are interested in starting something similar in your city, send me a virtual note folded like a crane and I promise to send one back ASAP. Oh, and remember to dot your "i's" with a heart.
There are a lot of things I’ve learned about myself lately. I’m a girl who will forever and always be on medication. A girl who will always and forever be aware of her mental health. I’m a girl who will most always wear denim when you’re not supposed to. I’ve always known I’m the girl who’ll do it again, even though she said she never would.

Burning the blanket at both ends.

I’ve also learned that I’m one of those “dog people”. Those people who love their dog like real humans. Who cook them things like eggs and turkey for breakfast. I’m one of those people who take their dogs to get photo’s with Santa. And, I am totally, toally proud of this little girl and the type of gal I am.

19 December 2007

Last night, when I had least expected it, my collar bone began to rumble and teeny tiny wings sprouted from underneath my chin. A amber and paisley colored butterfly tip toed to my ear and reassured me that all those mistakes, even the mishaps from long long ago, would indeed learn themselves sometime soon.

17 December 2007

It was a busy weekend and, per my magic ball, this week is just as rough. Let's reconvene on Wednesday with a glass of Malbec and some stories.

I've got updates on:
BFF's and Carriage rides
the Wonder of the newly construced Wang

For now, if you have a spare moment to enjoy, head to Black Bottle for a glass of the Doña Paula Shiraz-Malbec '05 from Argentina. It's 2 bucks per gulp, approximately $8.50 per glass. I won't be physically there to enjoy it with you, but if you listen closely you'll here the haunt of my giggle floating around.

13 December 2007

THIS is so eloquently timed. I am now, just now, coming to terms with what this woman believes. Thank God.
An actual conversation with my mom:

Mom: "Have you heard of the new blue jean company from Redmond? All the celebrities want them."
Me: "no, what are you talking about? Mom, do you mean Paper Denim and Cloth? That was FOREVER ago and the dude went to UW"
Mom: "No,I saw it on Evening Magazine. It's called Nine-something. Made with some sort of stretch material."
Me: "Mom, do you mean 7?"
Mom: "No, not 7. They sell those at Cost-co now! Look it up on the computer."

Alas, my mom was right. Pine IV Designer, Mel Matsui resides in Redmond, and ships nation wide. You can currently find these locally at Merge in Fremont (5000 20th Ave NW, Seattle, WA 98107, 206.782.5335) and La Rousse (30 Virginia Street - Seattle, WA - 98101, 206.448.1515).

here's what they say about them...

"Girls who want great-fitting jeans should check out Pine IV, a line of denim out of Redmond, WA. Fit is everything with Pine IV denim. Pine IV's premium stretch denim will give you the confidence to show off your great shape. Pine IV is sweet and sexy...yet tough. The back pocket placement is the KEY to making your butt look hot. Pine IV is also an environmentally friendly brand. For every pair of Pine IV jeans sold, the company will plant a tree on your behalf with American Forests."

I'll wiggle myself into a pair this weekend and let you know.

12 December 2007

I'd like to talk about 2 things : My Sporadic Posting and Cashmere.

I spend most of my time, now a days, pretending and exploring and creatively teaching the people who will be in charge 30 years from now. And most of what I normally put here - the creative energy, the worries, the wonder, the things I think about most - I put into those little lives and hope that all that I have, the all I normally put here will make some sort of difference in some sort of time. I expunge most of my emotion by wiggling around on the floor, moving my hands dramatically and making up songs about washing hands and the days of the week. And all this really wonderful stuff that fills me to the brim has left certain areas of my life a wee bit totally empty - my relationship, my love for this city, this blog, my not-at-work emotional state. I am a girl who is biologically depressed. It's a lifetime diagnosis that has left my glass forever half full. Now, just now, as I am understanding what it takes to live with this - I am calmly excited for a future of me. All me, just me, all the time.

Now, Cashmere. Cashmere at OLD NAVY. It's really quite decent and soft and lovely. The sweaters come 4 different styles. The two below are my favorites!

Women's Cashmere Scoop-Neck Sweaters, Old Navy, $40.00. I got this one in red to wear with my BFF on our 3 year anniversary carriage ride.

Women's Cashmere Shawl-Collar Sweaters, Old Navy, $40.00. And this one is TBP (to be purchased)

I noticed on-line has limited color and sizes, but in store (Down Town Seattle, 601 Pine St, Seattle, WA 98101, (206) 264-9341) has bunches in stock.

10 December 2007

Seattle - It's December and I can't quite tell you where time has gone, but I can tell you that I'm looking forward to each new hour of every day.

I can also tell you I'm planning NYE. I have an old Vera Wang (the real kind not my daily wares from Kohl's) left from a Best Friends nuptials. As we stood around and basked in the glory of owning our FIRST VERA, we "totally" thought we could wear these beauties again "to a black tie event or something". HA. We all know, the only reason we do black tie events is to buy a new dress.

This year, I've decide to sip Vouve in a reassembled Vera. Compliments of Kuhlman's (and their insanely talented taylors), my old/new Vera will be just above my knees with deep pockets and a bust line sash. Which is great, because I had already purchased my shoes from the DREAM sale (which, btw, is still going on,GOGOGO).

**Image to come, hold your breath.

Here They Are!!

07 December 2007

I know i should be filling this space with all sorts of "where to go for ..." and boasting my opinion about sequin vs lace for the holiday season. I should be holding hands to keep war while bouncing from party to party and waking up with the sweetness of vodka on my breath.

But instead? I've been hiding out going through every minute of this year wondering how all this came to be, blowing heart shaped smoke rings on the back porch at a friends house hoping someone will jump through and land solidly on my lap and not ask any questions and just love me, for me.

So, when this little pity party ends - I'll make sure I send out a morris code by popping champagne bottles and we'll meet in our best sequin top somewhere in Bell Town. Promise.

03 December 2007

Once upon a time there was a girl who lived a very simple life. She loved truly, understood beauty, and did her very very best to make sure everyone else felt their very best. And then one day, this girl lost her mother. And she was left very very alone.

This girl, she went on to become a young woman who loved truly, understood beauty, and did her very very best make sure everyone else felt their very best. This young woman fell in love. She made a family. She made a home. She made the world of her family bright. She decorated their world with love, streamers, tintsel and honesty.

Her family grew up. They trudged their own paths, made their own families, learned their own lessons. And she was there when they fell and bruised their knees, elbows, and hearts.

Most of the time she sat, and waited patiently for for her family to need her. To borrow her love, her beauty, her generosity.

And it wasn’t until they needed to set a solid foundation of their own they dug deep into her and took the very best of her. And it wasn’t until their foundation crumbled they realized the precious pieces she loaned would withstand anything.