30 June 2008


Anyone out there?

I was fairly certain you wouldn't be. I've been gone and I didn't even leave a note to say when I'd be back. I can understand if you need some time to forgive and (keeping my fingers crossed) forget.

I ran away around the same time last year to spend time with my pup, hock my possessions on Craig's List, and down size my closet. This time? I've been sitting atop a high spot in Bell Town taking in the city and learning new ways. Picking private dinners with few over trudging through the streets with a few too many. I've been shopping at all my old but favorite hide-aways where people know my name and size and set things aside they think I "Must Have". CoCo's been re-exploring the sculpture park and rekindling lost friendships with security guards and pups.

And now, like before, I'm back.

So, tonight, please join me for a plate of cold noodles, a lychee sake martini, broads in bikinis in urban settings, and a movie.

20 June 2008

There's a lot to be said about fashion and new places to shop and eat and play in Seattle. But yours truly is having a hard time mustering up the energy to tell you all about it. Because, right now? Things are busy. Life's leading me in a direction I haven't approved and I've got more on my mind than what this little space asks of me.

I've been sinking deeply into music. Music that allows me to sing at the top of my lungs in my car and dance like my neighbors can't see me. I've been turning my borrowed ipod volume up to a level that my doctor wouldn't approve of. Talking about lyrics and chords and beats. And most of it? I'd be totally embarrassed if you heard. But most of it? I really really love and for the first time ever, music is the "thing" that's keeping me going. Moving from day to day. Making life that much better to be living.

I've been pulling from a veteran collection of CD's and records. Some of which I don't even remember buying. But all of which I remember loving. All in all, I think the nostalgia of it all is what I love.

Currently in my disc man (yes, disc man):

Sheryl Crow, I Shall Believe

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe

I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe

That not everything is
gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every
time I try to make
it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you
won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe

That not everything is
gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every
time I try to make
it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe

If you think that's terrible - you'd be ashamed to know I've got Mariah Carey in Que.

16 June 2008

There is an extreme amount of caching up to do. I've got photos to post, new information about what sorts of shorts we all should be wearing now, thank you cards to send, and a base tan to work on.

My favorite guy is in town and we've got a serious amount of hand holding and catching up to do. It's likely we'll be in The Park or strolling somewhere on the Waterfront. You should hop on The Duck or move your feet quickly to meet us. He's got the best stories and loves an audience. And I'd like to see you!

For all of you who attended the ringing in of 28 - Thank you. From the deepest part of my heart. There's nothing to make a girl feel like it really will be the best year of her life, like tried and true friends who allow her to nearly squeeze the life out of them, bark orders about how to use chop sticks and then allow her to rap out loud to 50 cent - more than once. Really, thanks guys!

I'll have pictures later, promise. And, at some point that list (You thought I forgot didn't you!), because it really will change your life.

12 June 2008

so it turns out that if you live in the 98122 or the 98112 you've been chilling and barfing and wishing for life to end immediately. The flu is running rampant in Madison Park and it seems like everyone's got a funny "when it hit me" story to go along with it.


You'll just have to wait and hear all about it tomorrow, on MY BIRTHDAY, at Umi. You'll laugh until Sake comes out of your nose, I promise.
Dear 27, You. Nearly. Broke. Me.

Broke me to a point where the girl I’ve been learning to live with over the past 26 + years was a mere remnant of herself. And together we learned the very very very hard way that we are best at being that girl and nothing else. We learned that we can’t even pretend to be something else, because in the end we are not pretenders, but realists with a wild imagination.

The past 365 day’s have been much like a Jackson Pollock - a terrified mess of strategically planned lines, splatters, and drips that when viewed by the outsider either look beautiful or pathetic.

27, together you and I took a wild wild adventure called a real life adult relationship. One that lead to sharing addresses and cars and all sorts of other adult things. We learned, that we, however much we think we are ready, are not ready to share our world that way. WE love to love and likely always will. But the one thing you and I learned together,that if we don’t love us, we can’t ever really love someone else. And, that 27, is the most important truth we discovered. And the good thing is we tattooed that lesson right on the softest part of our heart so that every-time it beats a bit too fast the tattoo stretches a little bit bigger. And I hope that maybe 28 will be able to get it to grow all the way around our heart so when the time comes to give it away again, it’ll be nice and safe and ready for another adventure.

The worst part about all that heartache was that we left someone else being less than themselves. And that is not why we are here. We know this, and will do our best to forever remember, that we are here to create good, bring love, and reflect the truth. Please remind 28 of that, sometimes, I think, we can forget.

This year we learned that we are the girl who will forever be faithful to her mental heath. That, no matter what we are doing, who we are with, where we are, the way our brain works will always be on the forefront. Admittedly, it’s a place we never wanted to be but are forever and ever and ever grateful we were forced to figure it out. Thanks to you 27, 28 and I will be at the top of our game for the first time ever.

27, we partied. We danced and danced and danced. We drank and drank and drank. We laughed until we peed and then laughed some more. We aged ourselves 4 years in one, but all in all? it was worth it. So incredibly worth it.

27, at times you left me so deflated I wasn’t sure I’d be able to re-inflate. And I do think that even tho we’ve laughed a whole lot, rekindled old friendships that fill us with love, crumbled and rebuilt our foundation on diamonds - 28 and I will still be working on re-inflating. Because, 27 you took more than you should have and we just weren’t ready.

27, you and I stayed close to home for most of the year. Please don’t be shy in telling 28 how incredibly boring that was. Not that we didn’t love romancing our favorite city, but 28 and I? We plan on moving about here and there and carrying on conversations in languages we’ve yet to fully understand. 28 and I? we plan on being gone more than we plan on being here. Because 28 and I are that much closer to 30 than you and I will ever be. And, nows a good of time as any.

I can’t say you were all trouble and no lovely. You were. Together we learned that we are totally capable of living by ourselves, perusing our dreams despite what (what we think) everyone else thinks. We learned that we can stand firm on a decision. We experienced some of the best music, people and food in the world together and learned that we are indeed able to be 100% carefree and happy - if we allow ourselves to be.

All in All 27, I’m glad you came around. My world will forever be changed by you. You allowed us to fall in love with life for the very first time ever. But I’d also like to wish you well, because knowing you won’t ever be around again, is totally okay with me. It’s bitter sweet 27, but I know you know that.

Dear 28,

a Friend of a friend recently said that she, “Has been waiting to be 28 since I was 12. 28 will be the best year of your life.” That, “I have always wanted to be 28, because I know it will be totally great. It is just the best age”

Do you hear that 28? I’d like to ask that you do your best to make that happen. Because, there is no fucking way we can have it anyway else.

New Beginnings and White Flags,

09 June 2008

Dear Seattle,
Please make sure to look under your foundation tomorrow to see if a pair of ruby red slippers have found their way to you. It's blustery in the first weeks of June. And the only explanation I have is that it means we've got a month full of surprises ahead. And me? I've always been a fan of the unknown. So, I'm sort of looking forward to what June has to offer. Whatever it may be.

Anoraks and Louboutins,

ps- I've started four blogs and haven't had the attention span to finish them. I'm giddy with excitement for the B-day extravaganza this Friday. I've got about 22 years of friends making their way to Bell Town and I can't wait to see what happens when my worlds collide.

04 June 2008

Barack and Roll America, Barack and Roll.

03 June 2008

I’ve got birthday on my mind. In the next few sunsets I’ve got a few to attend including (da-da-da-daaaa!) my own. I snagged my B-day frock a week and a half ago and plan on following the “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue” mantra to ring in 28.

My ensemble? I’m keeping it a bit secret. But, in case you’re interested in playing along - I’d suggest you bare some leg and accessorize with a smile and meet me at Umi on June 13th.

Something New

Metallic Tank Dress, Old Navy (Down Town Seattle), $29.50

Ruffle Hem Dress, Old Navy (Down Town Seattle), $29.50

Something Old

I snagged my signature piece here: http://rhinestonerosie.com/

Something Borrowed

I'll be plucking a few orchids from a friends green house to cascade in my hair.

Something Blue

Honeydew Boy Short @ Bellefleur (720 N 35th St, Seattle, WA 98103), 13.00

Mary Green Hip Hugger Boy Short @ Bellefleur (720 N 35th St, Seattle, WA 98103), 20.50

It’s been one year and a few days since I let out that stagnant breath . It hasn’t been until recently that it’s been safe to step back into the space where I exhaled. Minus a few special days here and there, the air floating around my head since that exhale hasn’t been for the weak of heart. The good thing about a year and a half? It eventually ends and the next part of that year starts. And the air clears. And things feel normal again.

I’m waiting on Cocos bday photos from my incredibly gorgeous, new-mother-of-a-sister. My digital card was full up of photos of people over the age of 27 dancing in the basement of The Alibi Room to late 90’s rap, blowing on whistles, and wearing mustaches. Stay tuned.