31 December 2007

2007,

You came marching in like the 3rd Reich. Strong willed, confident, mission driven -but insincere in your intentions. Like your predecessor 2006, you willfully wore fancy patent leather masked flocked with all sorts of shiny things that hid the the dim in your eyes. But I can’t shame you, 2007, for pretending to be what your not because it’s much easier to pretend then it is to really be. But what you miss out on by pretending, is being you. And that is a shame.

But thankfully, you brought with you a few sleepless nights of hard lessons and body crumbling laughs. Dream vacations and big decisions. A new job that leaves me refreshed and at peace at the end of each day. Bi Weekly Manicures and Pedicures, Anti-depressants, new friends, moves, new friendships and scary realizations about who I am. When we first met 2007, I was brimming with hope and optimism for love, marriage, travel, contentment, and taking care of myself. And I give you credit some of those things happened and left the loveliest little imprints on my soul. So 2007, I’ m leaving you a bit more empty than when I started. I’m less a dater, a home, a 401-k, and a plan.


But what I do have is you, and you, and you, and you all the way out there kind readers. And for now, and really for always, you’ll be just what I need. But it’s too bad we’re saying good-bye with such a bad taste in our mouths. Because despite the severe heartbreak (the kind of heart break that takes more than giggles, whiskey and firm hugs to get over) you’ve been pretty great, not quite the best year of my life, but not the worst either.


And so 2008, I’m just going to put this out there, because the last time I had intentions for a year, they all happened even though I had forgot I had intended them. So, maybe 2008, maybe there’ll be and engagement or a wedding or something and maybe, just maybe my name will be on the invitation. You know 2008, I am not afraid to be one of those girls who is looking for love.

I want more small table gatherings with real conversations like how to fall out of love gracefully, what to wear to a wedding alone, where to get the best eye creams, and the best place to shamelessly dance. I want to chat about fun dog parks, beauty, and where to find a fantastic vintage hand bag.


As always, I’ve got high hopes. I’m looking forward to more travel. I’ll be on the hunt for sexy languages and a melt worthy bottle of wine, bi-weekly manis and pedis. This year there will be babies. Beautiful, long awaited babies that will make this world a better place, tie families together and teach lessons in patients and fill hearts with an unbelievable amount of love. This year I’l be giving my time, my energy and tiny pieces of my soul to this city at least once a month, and if you allow, more. I’ll be out and about with my puppy, getting to know a bit more about the emerald in our city. There will be less coffee drinking and more tea sipping.

I’m at a bit of a loss with The Words. My current love, work, leaves me with a bit less creativity, a bit less emotional stress, and without the need to expunge all the lovely things in my life. Because, every day, I leave work feeling more fulfilled than when I left. But the one thing I know will always be here is you, lovely readers. And I like that we, on a fairly regular basis, get to sit down and chat. And, what I said last year about writing, holds true for this year (I wrote down almost every moment I had this year - Good, bad, laughable, tear worthy, and inappropriate. And in doing so, I realized that writing is my forum for clarity, truth, and insight. I am my very best self when I am translating my thoughts into words, and an even better self knowing there is someone out there reading them. I have learned that with out The Words, I am without the most fantastic part of myself.), and I plan to find a whole host of new words in 2008 to let you all know a bit more about me, this city, and the fantastic things to love about our world.

So, 2008, I’m hesitantly looking forward to some time with you. I’ll go ahead and let you lead a bit in the dance, but don’t think I’ve given up, because I haven’t. What I will do is be me - the unpredictable, emotionally driven, fast talking, good loving girl I’ve always been a bit ashamed to be. Because I know that girl is the girl people love to love. I hope you will too.

And, I hope that together, we can do our best with the battle:

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." ee Cummings



High-fives and tickles,
A

6 Comments:

Anonymous Colleen said...

This, as always, was so well written. Maybe 2008 will see a book or a magazine article with your name attached to it? I loved your line about drinking less coffee and sipping more tea. I'd love to raise our pinkies together soon. Love you! Colleen.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Amanda Mae said...

The pinkys will be riased, the asses will be shaking, and the loud talking will be had very soon my friend.

2:01 PM  
Anonymous erica guaca said...

A very moving entry. :) Happy 2008.

3:52 PM  
Blogger Loosy said...

You should run for office. Amanda Mae for Mayor! Cross our fingers that our worlds collide sooner rather than later.

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog was an inspiration to me this past year...always a treat.

L.

I had to share my fav. quote with you, as I am sure you have already seen it, but it holds true.

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
e. e. cummings

8:48 AM  
Blogger Amanda Mae said...

Thanks for reading L. :)

9:57 AM  

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